How Grifters Are Scamming You – Long Story Short | The Daily Show

over the past couple of years I've beennoticing somethingdo you guys feel like scam artists areeverywhereright you obviously heard about FTXright the cryptocurrency exchange thatlost 8 billion dollars of investordeposits based on the reputation of thiselectrocuted nine-year-oldyeahit was insane but you know what wascrazierthe people who helped him do it I'mexcited to be partnering with FTX tohelp make crypto accessible for everyoneI'm all in are you with FTX I haveeverything I need to buy sell and tradecrypto safely traded crypto FTX is thesafest and easiest way to buy and sellcrypto it's the best way to get in thegame if there's ever a place I could bethat I'm not going to get in troubleit's going to be at FTX wow Kevinthat prediction aged so poorlyLeonardo DiCaprio just broke up with itso obviously FTX is old news but whenthe new CEO John Ray took over thecompanyhe looked at the books and he said onething that I cannot forgethe said that he has never seen a groupof suchinexperienced unsophisticated andpotentially compromised group ofindividualsthis dude said that the situation wasquoteunprecedentedand he oversaw the bankruptcy of Enronokaythat's like if your doctor told you hehad the weirdest penis he had ever seenand then you found out his other patientwas Rudy Giuliani[Applause]living in the Golden Age of griftingthere's articles everywhere about itbut it's not the Golden Age of griftingbecause that makes it sound smart andsophisticated the truth isthe grifters of our ageare [ __ ] morons just absolute[ __ ] soft brain neanderthals andthat's the part that bothers me so muchI have friendsthat I grew up withthat got duped by these clout chasingsociopathsthat's why we need to know why it'sgotten so stupid so we never get backhere let's talk about the Golden Age ofdipshittery in our latest installment oflong story shortdo you guys remember the 08 financialcrisisyes it was so complicated Remember TheBig Shortwhat the hell is a credit default swap Ihave no idea Margot Robbie explained itto me naked in a bathtub and I stilldon't get itbut the scandals todayoh they're truly idiotic take coinbaseokay very legit app I have it on myphonebutit was recently at the center of thefirst crypto insider trading Scandal nowyou're probably thinking wow us andcryptoit's got to be complicated rightwrong according to the doj here's how itworked right before coinbase listed anew coin this dork who worked atcoinbase would text his little brotherto tell him to buy that coin and at onepointthey just texted the dollar sign andeyes emojiyou know the universal symbol forinsider trading justzero subtletynow it gets even dumber when coinbasecaught him and tried to bring him inishan emailed his co-workers that hewould be quote out indefinitely becausehe had to fly back to India overnightishan you [ __ ] dumbassyou're fleeing the country you don'tping HR on slack just uh hey Carolum running from the law just looping youinum just bumping this for visibilitythanks Nick now obviouslycrypto is full of idiots but this[ __ ] griftingoh it's [ __ ] everywhere so don't feelbad if you've been dupedeven JP Morgan got swindledtake the case of Charlie Javis okay shefounded a startup called Frank and sheclaimed to have a user base of almost 4million customersand in 2021 JP Morgan bought her companyfor a hundred and seventy five milliondollars she was in Forbes she was thefuture but nowJP Morgan is suing her because it lookslike those four million customers shehadoh she made them upalmost all of them were fakeand do you know how JP Morgan found outthey were fakeafter they bought the company which isstupidthey emailed the list and then 70 of theemails bounced back that's rightthe person who blew the lid off thisintricate plot was mailer demonwhat the [ __ ] is going onI think there are three factors okaynumber oneMillennials have three times less moneythan Boomers did at the same age so wehave this feeling as Millennials wherewe want to catch uppay for that marriage that mortgage wefeel behind the game we got to catch upfast now Gen X they're behind two butwho gives a [ __ ] about them they haveNirvananumber twozero percent interest rates plusmultiple coveted stimulus builds pumpeda huge amount of money into the systemand the third reason there's more gripsthan evermight be the most important detailsocial mediafrom the moment you wake up and you pullout your phone these griftershave root access to your brainand it's never been easier for totalidiotsto pass themselves off as stock marketgurus to millions of people and there isno idiot more totalthan this guy my name is TommyI am from Tel Aviv Israel now I live inBeverly Hills California last year Iturned three thousand dollars into fourmillion dollars we used to be broke I ama stock Tradermeip holy [ __ ] and I'm also the number61 DJ on the planetthis is Tommy coopermanaka the number one 61 DJ on the planet[Applause]he's hoping to drop down to 69 so he cango by DJ noiseTommy and his friends promotedthemselves on Twitter as Financial gurusfollow them and you could be a ballerand they amassed huge followings becausethey look really cool rightespecially the guy doing this[Applause]yeah dudeyeah dudebut I want to talk about this guy with aPhotoshop head of Zach Morris nowin reality that's Edward ConstantineEdward loves to go on Twitter and showoff his cars his shoes and his scootersthat's right ladiesscootersEdward loves scootershe rides them all the time while beingreally cool a lot of people look what Imean they're like damn that's that dudeis so cool and do I blame him no becauseI am pretty cool I make it a hundredthousand dollarsmaybe get rid of your wife your kids orwhatever's holding you back so yeah guysjust you can do it too justget a bike and start making a hundredthousand a dayI can honestly say I have never prayedharder for a car door to openhow were these guys getting so rich fromTrading stocks and the suspicion wasthey were running a pump and dump scamthat's when you buy a stock you hype itup to your followers so they buy itwhich pushes the price up then yousecretly sell your stockand then innocent people get leftholding the bagand you would thinkthey would hide the evidence rightnopeEddie would regularly post pictures likethisor he would regularly tweet that heloved pumping and dumping and thenposted a photo of him and his friendflipping off the SECyeah broand it went on like that until the SECsaidum noyou knew this morning on alleged 114million dollar fraud scheme involvingself-proclaimed stock market influencersthe SEC and doj are charging eightsocial media influencers in theso-called pump and dump plan prosecutorshave a secretly recorded voice chatwhere the influencers even brag aboutthe alleged scheme saying quote we'rerobbing idiots of their moneyoh my Godthese mouth-breathing moronssnitched on themselves oh no bronow I gotta give props to the SECthey're clearly starting to send asignal to all grifters that it's 2023and the party's overlast year the SEC collected a record 6.4billion in penalties with no sign ofslowing downnow who knows if these guys are going togo to jailbut the SEC is making an example out ofthem and it's workingafter the SEC charged themall of them stopped Tweeting or deletedtheir accountsalthough scooter douche EdwardConstantine left uswith one Epic final tweetI love my homies on herethe rest of you can keep swinging on myknees[Applause]okayI have to admit that is kind of moneyours is just swinging on it you knowit's funny okay okay it's funny it'sfunny butone of the top responses to that tweetis not funnyand it reminds me of the people that Iknowthat also got dupedone of the top responsesthis dude writes shame on meI used to defend these guysthinking that they were going to help mepay off my wife's medical bills afterher fighting breast cancerI know I'm the one that clicked the buybutton but damn I lost a ton of moneyfollowing their tradesthis is the true damage of the griftthis is why there needs to beconsequences and the good news is therecan beif you think someone is running a scamon Twitter or tick tock be a snitch yesHassan minhaj is saying sich I am Prosnitching the SEC has a website tosubmit tips Anonymous anonymously youcan go to this website and snitch on[ __ ] grifters so long story shortstart calling these [ __ ] outdrop kick them with coldconsequencesbecause if you're notin the words of the great scooterphilosopher I don't know what the [ __ ]you're doing with your life[Music]